I Had A Boy
From The Journeyman
Song Description: “I Had a Boy” – Tim Cooney From The Journeyman Soundtrack
This haunting, heartfelt ballad captures the ache of fatherhood when love collides with loss. In “I Had a Boy,” songwriter Tim Cooney traces the arc of a father’s love for his son—from the innocent joy of early years to the heartbreak of watching him drift away. With poetic storytelling and a gentle, folk-infused melody, the song navigates the bittersweet truth that sometimes love alone isn’t enough to save someone. It's a raw, beautiful lament filled with grace, grief, and hope—a tribute to the kind of love that never stops searching. Part elegy, part prayer, this track will resonate with anyone who has loved and lost, but still dares to remember.
A Father’s Song for the One He Couldn’t Save—and the One He Still Can
There’s a chapter in The Journeyman that’s different from all the rest. Not because it’s more dramatic — it isn’t. It’s quieter. Slower. More haunting. It’s the one I could never quite finish, because the story it tells is still unfolding — not in the pages of a book anymore, but in the shape of every day that follows.
He came into the world like most sons do — full of promise. A beautiful child, curious, kind, clever, the apple of my eye. As a young man he grew tall and proud, and I saw the best parts of myself in him. I had hopes, the way any father does. But life took him down a road I never expected and couldn’t always follow.
For years I did everything a father can do except give up. I showed up — in the middle of the night, on the long drives, in the waiting rooms — and I wrote through all of it, because writing was the only way I could keep from breaking.
But this isn’t a story of defeat.
Because there’s a grandchild now. From the moment he arrived, I understood I’d been given something — not a chance to rewrite the past, but a chance to help shape what comes next. Where one generation inherited silence, this one will inherit song. Where there was chaos, there will be safety. Surrounded by family who love him, he is growing up bright and curious and tender-hearted, carrying the best of what came before and none of its weight.
And that’s what The Journeyman is, in its deepest sense: a bridge across generations. A reckoning with what was, and a prayer for what could still be.
In my darkest hours as a father, I turned to music. This song came pouring out in pieces — lines scribbled in notebooks, mumbled into my phone, strummed out when the grief got too loud to ignore. It’s about my son. But it’s also about me — about every parent who has loved a child they couldn’t save, and loved them anyway.
Here’s an excerpt:
I had a boy, what can I say
He came to me in the usual way
I had a boy, where do I begin
I’ve aged fifty years since then
I had a boy... He was my boy.Sometimes life is such a thrill
Other times it can be a bitter pill
Now I've got a lot of time to kill
Way too much time to kill...
I had a boy.I had a boy, I wish he had stayed
I hope he finds his way home someday
I had a boy, he lost his will
Sometimes life is just a bitter pill.
This is not a song of blame. It’s a song of mourning—and of hope. It’s about what happens when love isn’t enough to save someone, but still shows up anyway. In the middle of the night. At the ER. On a long drive home. Or in the lyrics of a melody that’s waited years to be sung.
He may never come back fully. He may not see this story the way I do. But the next generation is still becoming, and I will be here — telling the truth, singing the songs, and loving them both.
This is the legacy I offer now—not just as a father, but as a grandfather, a songwriter, and a man who still believes that broken stories can become beautiful songs.
Thank you for listening.
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I Had A Boy
Written by Tim Cooney
2020
I had a boy, what can I say
He came to me in the usual way
I had a boy, where do I begin
I’ve aged fifty years since then
I had a boy
He was my boy
I had a boy
He was the apple of my eye
He grew up tall
right by my side
I had a boy
Yeah a boy
I had a boy a beautiful child
Curiouse and kind
and mercy mild
I had a boy
Yeah I had a boy
Sometimes life is such a thrill
Other times It can be a bitter pill
Now I've got a lot of time to kill
Way too much time to kill
I had a boy
I had a boy
He grew up fast
A new generation
but stuck in the past
I had a boy
Yeah I had a boy
I had a boy Where did he go
I didn't see it coming
It was quite a blow
Quite a blow
I had a boy
Sometimes life is such a thrill
Other times It can be a bitter pill
Now I've got a lot of time to kill
Way too much time to kill
I had a boy Where did he go
I didn't see it coming
It was quite a blow
Quite a blow
I had a boy
Sometimes life is such a thrill
Other times It can be a bitter pill
Now I've got a lot of time to kill
Way too much time to kill
I had a boy Where did he go
I didn't see it coming
It was quite a blow
I had a boy, he lost his will
Sometimes life is just a bitter pill
I had a boy always on my mind
That kind of love is so hard to find
I had a boy he disappeared
Like he never knew me,
Like he never cared
I had a boy
I had a boy what can I say
He wandered off
Just like a stray
I had a boy I loved him so
All my love; where did it go
I had a boy
I had a boy Where did he go
I didn't see it coming
It was quite a blow
Quite a blow
I had a boy
Sometimes life is such a thrill
Other times it can be a bitter pill
Now I've got a lot of time to kill
Way too much time to kill
I had a boy
I had a boy a beautiful child
Curious and kind
and mercy mild
I had a boy
Yeah I had a boy
He was my boy
About The Journeyman
The Journeyman is a sweeping, soul-baring memoir of a man who walked through fire and rain to rediscover his voice, his purpose, and his place in the world. Told with the honesty of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, the lyrical force of Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run, and the emotional weight of Tobias Wolff’s This Boy’s Life, it chronicles a life shaped by chaos, saved by creativity, and transformed by love.
Spanning five generations, the book explores the legacy of trauma, the redemptive power of storytelling, and the courage it takes to begin again—again and again. It’s a love story, a spiritual odyssey, and a letter to anyone who’s ever felt like the black sheep in their own family.
This isn’t just a memoir. It’s a reckoning. A reinvention. A revelation.
About the Soundtrack: The Journeyman – Songs from a Life Reclaimed
The companion soundtrack is a 14-track concept album that echoes the memoir’s most emotional moments through a folk rock lens. Think Jackson Browne’s raw intimacy, Bruce Springsteen’s storytelling swagger, with echoes of Kris Kristofferson, Paul Simon, and John Prine.
From the anthem of resilience in “You’ve Got This,” to the heartbreaking elegy of “I Had a Boy,” to the deeply personal legacy songs like “Black Sheep Redemption,” each track offers a lyrical window into the life behind the pages. The music blends Americana, acoustic soul, and singer-songwriter traditions into something wholly original—emotional but never sentimental, grounded yet transcendent.
Every song stands on its own, but together they tell a parallel story to the memoir—a story sung, strummed, and spoken straight from the heart.
If The Journeyman is a book to carry with you, this is the soundtrack to play on the road home.